I Do, right?

Browsing through Orkut profiles the other day, i came across an old friend, whose album is full of pictures of the entire world, which she has been travelling with her husband. Who works for the merchant navy, so its no big random adventure. what IS a big adventure, although not random, is the fact that she got married when we were all in our second year of being English hons. students at Delhi University. She was all of 19 years.

Getting married at that age is not only shocking to most of us urban, city, career oriented girls, but also quite unimaginable.

This, in a nation, where the women have only very recently, by global standards, started claiming an identity for themselves, or having more to their lives than a household, a husband and children to take care of. In a place where its still a bit awesome for men in relatively smaller towns, to see women out in western clothes, walking by themselves, and which inevitably gives rise to some attempts at subversion.

The fact is that this woman was very happy, and quite prepared for this eventuality, not to mention quite excited. she, unlike a lot of us, was quite clear in her head as to what it was that she wanted, and that a career was certainly not one of them. i think i also need to mention that she was very intelligent, was once the sports captain in the student council of the boarding school that she went to and possessed every ounce of urbane sophistication that many of the rest of us can only pretend to have.

There were people who laughed at her, pitied her, voiced their ‘feminism’ in front of her and even despised her. paying no heed whatsoever, she still went ahead, head held high, smirking at the devil, down the altar.

If feminism is about equality, about having the will and the power to live by one’s own decisions, without having to look for permission from male counterparts, relatives, members of society at random, then she certainly was queen of this movement. If we women start hurling mud at such women, who have made their own choices, and blame them for not swearing allegiance to our religion, and try to force our opinions on them , then what is the entire purpose of feminism? where is the independence? where is the pretense at it? how, then, is feminism more noble than Communism, or Islam? what then is it fighting against, when it recreates the same force in essence?

She’s happy, ecstatic with her decisions today. She fell in love, and carried that indulgence through to its just conclusion. And the brat that she is, she does not care a hoot for what whispers follow her. There goes one embodiment of Feminism.

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3 thoughts on “I Do, right?

  1. I quite agree that she is an embodiment of feminism. Unabashed and free… Liberated in the true sense. But i see a different side to her story as well.
    (Save that for the dinner table conversation)
    About your writing skills..
    ——It is growing from strength to strength…

  2. I liked this one….u have transcended the cliched view of feminism that is unnecessarily at loggerheads with all males based on some unsavoury experience that they might have had…and that is the basis for most of their own disenchantment with males, and that feeling is more of a pretense as they would gladly swap places with happily married women, given the chance. All that Indian feminists have succeeded in doing till now is making more women available to more men. Which is not all that bad, but does not address the core issues. Your post is more mature, and refreshing to read.

  3. well to start with..kudos to that female!!..well i guess somewhere down the line we have forgotten the very purpose of living. we all live, survive in this mud-slinging word for what?????……to be happy, content..isnt??….feminism is not greater than one own choice or wants…for that matter as said by the writer..feedom is all what it means……..if women point fingers and try to bring down such an expression of feminism itself…then there isnt a greater irony i have heard of…………
    well i must say nidhi….u are doing a fabulous job..the only way we can fight all these issues is to constantly talk about them,make ppl aware of it….n u are doing a wonderful work at that….i’d really like to see a few women commenting on the above post though:P……way to go girl!!!!!!!!!

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